“I drive throughout the borough and all I see are businesses that have laid off employees and closed their doors. Brooklyn already doesn’t look like shit but when you add in all these buildings that are just sitting and being used by crackheads and hoes it makes me sick to my stomach. They say private businesses are what the city needs to put more people back to work and turn this place around. So I’m just doing my part.”
With the approval of the mayor and the city council, Ms. Blanks has opened what she hopes will be the first of many: Drive-thru brothels. “Residents are furious that they can’t walk a block without seeing a hoe sucking some guy off in the doorway of some abandoned building,” stated Blanks. “So I went to the mayor and laid down what I thought was an offer that he couldn’t refuse. I’m cleaning up the streets and putting people back to work. That’s what everyone wants right?”
A spokesperson for the mayor released this statement. While we don’t condone prostitution, we understand that sometimes you have to do what you have to do. We all aren’t billionaires like the mayor. Ms. Blanks proposal to build ‘drive-in booths’ is a brilliant idea, that will put a lot of people men and women back to work and earning. When residents earn money it helps out the economy because they pay taxes and spend that money in the community.
The booths, called ‘performance stalls’, will each have a designated parking space for the client, who can drive right up to them for sex. They will also be fitted with alarm buttons so the prostitutes can call for help if they are attacked, and they also have an on-site counseling service.
This drive-thru brothel would be the first of its kind in New York and there are already plans to open three more in the Bronx, Harlem, and Manhattan.
Martin Sawer, the head of Brooklyn’s Economic Development Council said he was first against it but came around after using the brothel to see if it would be a good fit in Brooklyn.
Most councilors voted in favor of the drive-thru booths, but it was met with resistance from the United Hoes Union, the Greater Missionary of Virgin Women’s party, and the Black Sarah Palin Supporters Democratic Society.
Councilwomen Ruth Horn, of the United Hoes Union, said she voted against it because none of the hoes would be unionized. When you have un-unionized hoes they just suck of Tom, Harry, Dick that is put in front of them.
The brothel is slated to open to the public by the fall.