Governor signs Any Age, Safe-Haven Bill into Law

Governor signs Any Age, Safe-Haven Bill into Law

Parents are flocking to Nebraska and shoving their kids out of the moving cars while they peel off. A new safe-haven law passed in Nebraska in May allows parents, and legal guardians to abandon children within 50 feet of any state-licensed hospital or police station without fear of prosecution. Because the law doesn’t specifically state what the age of the child has to be like in most states. Parents and legal guardians have the right to drop off the children and just walk away.

“I dropped off my 6-year-old the other day because I was tired of having to keep washing his sheets from his pissy ass peeing in the bed all the time,” said one mother who drove off leaving her child with a the curb with a lunchable and a quarter juice.

Mildred Jackson was another legal guardian who took advantage of the new law. “I took my granddaughter over there to County General because at 11-years-old I already see the little heffer turning into a trick like her momma was. That’s how the little bitch got here to begin with.”

“My boy Randy can’t shoot for shit. This little bitch is 13-years-old and 6 feet tall, yet he couldn’t throw a ball in a hole if he was standing on top of that motherf&^%er. How the hell he expects us to ever get out of the hood if he can’t play basketball and go to the NBA?”

The controversial law, which was signed by the governor after failing to pass the House and Senate twice before, has long been advocated for by early-childcare providers and teachers who feel they are the ones who have to deal with the kids who just don’t give a damn about anything.

One woman who wished to remain anonymous gave her take on why she supports the new law and has taken advantage of it herself. “I’m a single mother trying to raise three girls and a boy. That boy has got to be the biggest pussy I’ve ever seen. No matter how much I try to get him to do boy stuff, all he wants to do is play with dolls and dress up in my clothes when I’m not around. I can’t have no prissy ass little boy in my house. I used the safe-haven law and I dropped him off right on them there steps for someone else to see if they can make a man out of his girly-ass.”

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