Recruitment No Longer an Issue for Chicago Gangs…Press Conference Details New Recruitment Effort

Recruitment No Longer an Issue for Chicago Gangs…Press Conference Details New Recruitment Effort

CHICAGO– Gang leader OG P-Knuckle of the Almighty Knuckle-Up Stones cried man tears when he heard that 54 schools will close before classes begin next fall.

Knuckle, 19, was worried along with other gang leaders about the recruitment issues they have been suffering over the last few years. “Recruitment has been a bitch,” he said while trying to convince a second grader the benefits of joining the AKUS, noting that recruitment used to involve bribing virgins with hot girls. But every since teachers started sleeping with their students, virgins don’t need gangs to get girls. “I be putting in work trying to get kids to sneak out their house with the promise of robberies and drive-by’s. Knuckle added that these school closing is a gift from God. Instead of having to go to where they live, they now have to walk through where I live. It’s about working smarter and not harder.

When Knuckle was asked how the gangs were able to sway The Chicago Board of Education, which is appointed by Mayor Emanuel to close the schools. He shouted SNITCHES GET STITCHES and then gang walked away with his pants sagging.

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